Breaking Up: Custom X Rider Ewan Donnachie.

Photo: Shadbolt

Broken Bone Like most kids I was full of unwarranted confidence and up for having a crack at anything. Unfortunately I hadn't yet developed my current understanding that any land-based activites that require even a hint of co-ordination should be avoided by me at all costs. I was twelve, I was skiing and saw what I deemed to be a jump (on genuine reflection, I doubt it was much more than a minor irregularity in the slope's surface). I hit it at speed, attempting to launch sky high, and caught my left ski in the mound itself, which swung my body around and planted my right shoulder into a nasty patch of blue ice. A fractured clavical and AC Joint. My learning had begun.

Broken Promise I break promises to work, in particular my supervisor (sorry Michael!) on a daily basis. He's so aware of my unreliability he enquires with me specifically (the only one out of a staff total of perhaps sixty) to verify I will in fact be attending my bar shift the following night or later in the week. And I still let the poor man down almost every time. It's hard to believe I've still got a job.

Broken Board I haven't properly broken a board in ages, perhaps four years. I was surfing Shark Island and took off at Surge on one of those wobbly East things where you have no idea what's going to happen. It barrelled, hard, before washing over the top at the very end. I figured I may be able to bust through, and held on for dear life. The shocky exploded me upwards, just as the collapsed lip bore down, resulting in a human sandwich of whiplashed neck and flailing limbs. When the smoke had settled and stars stopped dancing in front of my eyes, I was left with another particularly unsavoury sight: a relatively fresh sled, snapped clean in half.

Broke the Law With the World in its current state of ‘heightened threat alerts’, Security measures on security measures and everyone living in perpetual fear, I realised fairly early on in the game that being nabbed by the law would be the quickest way to be refused entry into a plethora of major countries, hence stifling any chance of scoring waves there and effectively ending my travelling career. So I’ve tried my darndest to play it safe and legal. The only thing I may be guilty of (and this is not helping my rapport with work) is from time to time whilst whipping up cocktails I've turned a blind eye to several intoxicated mates who, legally speaking, should probably have been escorted from the premises by a swarm of oversized security folk.

Broken Heart Too soon mate, too soon! I broke up with the ex-lady friend exactly a week ago. Sad times. But considering the amount I intend to travel this year, unless the previous answer comes back to bite me, it will no doubt prove to be the best outcome.

Car Broke Down Since my purchase of a snazzy new vehicle about a year ago, I haven’t had the first sign of breakdown woe. However previous to that, I couldn’t even put a finger on specifically the last time I found myself marooned on the side of a busy road, steam billowing from beneath the baby blue bonnet of my old Nissan Pulsar. The final year of that car’s life was a nightmarish blur of overheating, flat batteries, flat tyres, leaky hoses, cooked radiators and dodgy electrics.

Broke a Record Back, back, back in the day I happened to be a fairly gun swimmer, courtesy of my man-childish tendencies that had me looking like a misplaced, borderline paedophilic 14-year old in the Under 9 division of every given stroke. Don’t quote me on this, but I believe at one stage I held every record on the program at our local district carnivals in boys freestyle, backstroke and individual medley in every age group.

Broke your budget The very last trip I did to the Caribbean absolutely dominated my budgeting skills. That place is so freaking expensive. If you intend to island-hop as we did, you quite literally will blow your budget, regardless of how meticulously you’ve done the sums and figures. I believe prior to setting off I was looking at spending in the vicinity of $4000 for a month. In reality, I reckon close to $5,200 would have been injected into the local economy straight out of my savings, in only a matter of weeks.

Broke a Habit I have bitten my nails for as long as I can remember. And not just the odd nibble, I’m talking an absolute Final Supper-esque domination of any finger who dare sprout any form of nail overhang. Only in the last year have I been able to suppress such instinctual behaviour, but even now I’m far from having conquered the beast. It’s actually bizarre...I’ll manage a few months or so of self control and get the nails looking good, right up there with the best of them. Then for no particular reason I’ll fall back into my old ways of gnawing those suckers to the bone. -Ewan Donnachie

by Le Boogie Mag.